Roommates Love Blog

Shades of Grey: Meredith Sucks

2006-10-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

Scribe: Shades of Grey!! For the first time in a couple weeks, TAL is here with me and Special K. It's all very exciting, I know. But down to business: Mere is sick (possibly pregnant), George is grovelling (arg), McSteamy is working at Seattle Grace (!!!) and some idiot just lit up a cigarette while on pure oxygen. Massive explosion ensues. Are you happy TAL?

TAL: Happy!? Ecstatic what what! McSteamy is my favourite. I find him seeeexy. I really think that Meredith is preggers! Oh my God, that's ridiculous. I don't want her to be pregnant, that would be lame. Babies are for retards...McBaby! But she's not pregnant so now what the fuck is going on?

Scribe: Yeah, she's not pregnant. Which is a very, very good thing because I think Meredith would make a HORRIBLE mother. I like how Desperate Housewives dealt with the pregnant issue. They got the drama of the pregnancy but got rid of the baby pretty easily by making it black, as in obviously not Carlos and Gabby's. Brilliant. Anyway. Mr. Ducant (or Mr. Dickhead, as Special K is already referring to him as) has come and this means it's time for Izzie to cry again. I think Izzie's my fave.
Men In Trees is TALs favourite show, by the way.

TAL: Men in Trees is good, in one of those so bad its good kind of ways. McGavick is a McAsspick. Denny's dad...this is going to be good! I'm ready for this, baby. Izzy's going to have to finally face what happens. Burns are disgusting by the way...and painful. My face used to look like that.

Scribe: And now we're on pins and needles to see what's wrong with Meredith. Maybe she's going to DIE. Oh no, it's just her appendix. And the thought of George and Callie having sex kind of turns my stomach. I don't know if its the two of them... or just George. Like, maybe I just see him as a baby brother.

TAL: I like Callie. I think she's a babe...if i was George I would tap that ass so hard. If I ever have a baby, promise me you'll make me take the anestetic. Addison is a loser...she gets the hots for man-candy...man-candy? Really? Man-candy? Who says that? I say man-whore, or slute.

Scribe: TAL is a wordsmith, nobody is debating that.
But seriously, between the three Mcs (McSteamy, McDreamy and McVet) I like McDreamy... obviously. He's not a slute. He's wounded and sad and I just want to make him cookies. As for Mere, I think I should state once and for all: that she sucks. Big time. And I hope her appendix bursts and that it falls from her body onto the operating floor and McSteamy slips on it and he falls on top of Callie and then Alex takes some of the cookies that I made for McDreamy and gives them to Izzie and makes her feel happy again.

TAL: Scribe is ridiculous...don't hurt Callie she's hot. I don't like the Cristine/Burke plot-line right now. Yawns-ville for true. And izzy too, I know she is sad and stuff...But Denny's dad thinks that Izzy killed him. GAH! That's just not cool. Not cool at all. I retract my former statement that Izzy's plot is lameo...oooo, a mcfight!

Scribe: McFight?? McYes! Yeah, I could really care less about Burke at this point. I mean, he rocks and all... but whatev. What is far more interesting is the heart-to-heart High-Meredith is currently having with Addison. That is one great function drugs and alcohol have to this society, right? The one we never talk about... how many people tell BIG truths, or have BIG talks or have sex or get married when under the influence? SO many! Proposal: one day a year, everyone gets trashed and in that way we can all tell everyone exactly how we feel without consequence.

TAL: I concur: how's about new years! No, wait, no one is going toi be here for that except me...I guess I'll just drink a box of wine and tell myself what I think about me. It's probably best that I be by myself for New Years because I'll behave better. But let's pick a day and do it...and invite random people...maybe even people we don't like like Basil so we can tell them how we really feel, oh yes!
The show is back on! And some local (Washington) woman scored a cameo on the show. Oh, and if we kill off Mere, the show will have to be called Anatomy...and that's just not sexy.

Scribe: Hee. I'm sooo getting you a box of wine for Christmas.
Holy crap. We were definately not wrong with the name McAssPick. Because he certainly is. And Izzie is telling him off. And she is awesome.
Ooh. So Dead Denny has a Deep Dark Secret. And now that Burke is back, we can guess what that secret is.

TAL: I think it was actually Dickhead., not ass-pick. Dead Denny's Deep Dark Secret! DDDDS! I love it. I think that Denny was crazy and super rich. That's why Papa is sooo threateaned by her. I like drunk/ high Meredith. Also, Alex is a loser...I think he's going to end up as an OBGYN!

Scribe: Even though he is a loser, I love him.
Well I think Dead Denny had a rage problem. And that maybe his parents kicked him out of the house and didn't see him anymore because they were afraid he was going to kill them.
But here's the real secret: um, he ran away and left a suicide note. So his parents thought he was dead.
Now we have to feel sorry for Dickhead McAssPick.
It would have been better if the DDDDS had been that Dead Denny had buried treasure and the next few episodes would be devoted to Izzie going on a search for the buried chest of rubies and diamonds. Dickhead just gave her an envelope so there still could be buried treasure.

TAL: Oooooooo I love treasure. I think Alex sees himself in McSteamy and that's why he is getting all wierd and stuff. A Callie and George standoff....I guess she's off the show soon, too bad, she's hot, but there is no chemistry.
The wife of the face dude is bizare, I think she is slightly mentally challenged. "He has such a nice face" is that really all she can say?
Here it comes. McDreamy is giving up on Meredith.

Scribe: She deserves what she gets. She's selfish and she assumed that both men would go down fighting for her. Obviously she didn't take into account the fact that McDreamy LOVES her. And when you love someone you set them free. Or in Callie's case, when you love someone, you dump them and then hit on Dirty Dr. McSteamy!

TAL: Meredith is picking McDreamy because she can't have him...masochist. She's giving him the same speech....I'm pissed. I love that Callie and McSteamy are going to screw because ...$8 700 000! That's how much Izzie got from Denny and next week some man has a piercing and it's caught instide a woman..can't wait until next week.
Thanks for the Shades of Grey

Scribe: Yeah, danke. If you've gotten this far, you deserve a prize. Also, no thanks to Special K for contributing this week... apparently she doesn't like to blog and watch TV at the same time. Maybe we won't let her till she actually signs up as a contributor.
Later, Canada.

Turducken!

2006-10-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

A word from Tal, way out in AL (berta that is):
So I have just spent the last four days celebrating Turkey Day with my nearest and dearest...namely mom, dad, bro, and random neighbours who really don't talk....really. We had a great couple of meals and I must have gained 10 pounds but I now have a plan for our next u-tube video shoot in the kitchen! TUR-DUCK-EN! oh yeah baby, we have got to make a Turducken. For those of you who do not know what this culinary masterpiece entails, allow me to explain:
1. Buy a turkey and cut it open, removing all the bones except the legs
2. fill it with stuffing, and a duck (which you have cut open and removed all the bones including the legs)
3. Fill the duck with some stuffing and a chicken (from which you have removed the bones)
4. Fill the chicken with stuffing
5. sew the turkey up again!
6. Bake the turkey, making sure you baste regularly
7. Carve it and enjoy the three fowl delight!!!

Does this not sound like the greates recipe ever!!!! Compliment it with the right Box Wine and your holiday dinner is complete! Tune in to u-tube for a live demonstration of Turducken cuisine!
See you in Vancouver!
TAL

A Critical Analysis of Contemporary Poetry: London Bridge

2006-10-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

Recently released as the first song off of respected and award-winning recording artist “Fergie’s” debut solo album, London Bridge is a song rife with imagery of a misunderstood, yet dynamic woman who has no choice but to “dance like a ho”.

Woven throughout the rich lyrics is an overriding theme of desire for fame, blended with the paradox of our heroine who is desperate to seek refuge from the paparazzi. It is a tragic, and yet uplifting story, enhanced by the recurring symbolism of a bridge which spans the metaphorical shores of “lady” and “ho”. Let’s examine each verse individually:

Oh shit (oh shit)
Oh shit (oh shit)
Oh shit (oh shit)

The repetitive nature of the introductory stanzas seem to suggest a dilemma, perhaps the reason for the existence of these lyrics in the first place. They create a dramatic and urgent mood, the colloquial use of the word “shit” serving to speak directly to its intended audience.

Are you ready for this?
Oh shit (oh shit)
Ohhhhh
It’s me, Fergie
The Pimp!
Paulo!
Fergie Ferg, what's up, baby?

Our lyricist refers both to herself and a “Paulo”, who does not appear again throughout the song. Some critics have pointed out that this may be a contrived ploy for Fergie to refer to herself as a “pimp”, but it may also be a comment on the transient life of our songstress and the manner in which people come and go in and out of her life.

When I come to the club, step aside.
Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line.
V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine.
I’m Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time

All my girls get down on the floor,
Back to back, drop it down real low.
I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho,
‘Cause you know
I don’t give a fuck, so here we go!

Here is the first indication of the inflated sense of self-worth Fergie employs. One might assume that the status gained from being able to enter a club without queuing with the other patrons would warrant such an attitude, but as Fergie later protests: “I don’t give a fuck.”

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin’ down like…

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin’ down like…

The most powerful portion of the song uses the repeated analogy of “London bridge” as a means of spanning the two worlds Fergie inhabits. The “you” she refers to is most likely a suitor who lives in the world she strives to be a part of (perhaps the elusive Paulo himself). But crossing this bridge is not as simple as Fergie would like it to be. She stutters and uses the term “like” repeatedly, expressing a frustration of her status and inability to cross this bridge.

Now As The drinks start pouring,
And my speech start slurring,
Everybody start looking real good.

This frustration leads to the inevitable substance abuse. It’s a disappointing turn for Fergie the “pimp” and most likely mirrors the true life experiences the artist had with crystal meth. But the story is not over, and the heroine is destined to overcome her battle, but not before a “Grey Goose” attempts to lead her astray.

Grey goose got your girl feeling loose.
Now I’m wishin’ that I didn’t wear these shoes. (I hate heels)
It’s like everytime I get up on the dew,
Paparazzi put my business in the news.

And I’m like get up out my face, (oh shit)
'fore I turn around and spray your ass with mace. (oh shit)
My lips make you wanna have a taste. (oh shit)
You got that?
I got the bass.

The lines take on a vague sense of hopelessness, no doubt initiated by the artist’s poor choice of footwear and the paparazzi up in her “business”. Beneath this despair, however, is a feeling of triumphant satisfaction. This is where Fergie wants to be. Her London Bridge is down, and despite her rampant use of mace, she “got the bass”.

Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right
Fergie love em' long time
My girls support right?
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type you know they comin' right
Fergie lve em' long time
My girls support right?

These stanzas convey the camaraderie that the artists is celebrating. There is little doubt that her “girls support” whatever endeavour she feels is necessary to keep this bridge down for as long as possible. The line “me like a bullet type” is much more mysterious, but no doubt refers to her feeling of elation of being in her promised land of hos, paparazzi and Grey Goose.

The song refrains its earlier plea for privacy and yet simultaneous play for attention via dancing like a ho. It is a culmination of the juxtaposed mindset of the artist, which ends in a celebratory exclamation:

Fuck you, bitches.

Indeed, Fergie. Indeed.

Shades of Grey: Now With Less Cupcake!!

2006-10-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

Scribe: So Mere wakes up in a bed with McVet and McDreamy. I've said it before and I won't stop saying it... it's super, super creepy.
Today we have a guest blogger, Peppy! And tonight instead of cupcakes... we have Coronas!

Special K: I can't believe it's Thursday night again. Holla! I'd just like to point out that not only am I smarter than House, apparently I'm also smarter than Grey's Anatomy. Those who know me won't be surprised by that.

Scribe: This little girl (from Little Miss Sunshine) is not only adorable, but she can also not feel pain. I think Peppy should say hello:

Peppy: Hello I am the guest blogger...my name is Peppy. I would like to come back on a cupcake night and watch Grey's with you all again! I agree with the creepy threesome dream and I think she should just stick with McDreamy but I like the vet too.

Scribe: And we're also sort of watching the hockey game. Edmonton is winning.

Special K: There will be no more cupcake nights, Peppy. Don't talk to me about cupcakes. Why have I never noticed how perfectly coiffed all doctors seem to be?

Scribe: Even while crying while having sex. I think the doctors from House and the doctors from Grey's should mate. Peppy... opinions on McSteamy? Or the overall appearance of TV doctors?

Peppy: TV doctors are definitely a hot option. I am a big fan of McSteamy he is pretty hot and of course it was only about the sex for Addison. What do you guys think of George's girlfriend? I think she's kinda weird and creepy. She has surprisingly nice legs though.

Scribe: Haha. I seriously never noticed. But speaking of hot options: Luongo... goalie, AND curly hair! Is he your new favourite player yet?

Peppy: Umm yeah, he is hot but you said your were scared of him...why?

Scribe: Cuz he's freaking good! Special K has some interesting insights when it comes to Mere and her "difficult" decision.

Special K: Yeah, so I have to wonder why these two are competing over her, when Scribe and I could each make one of them the happiest man in the world. Oh, I have so much love to give....

Scribe: You know... I still have a sort of soft spot for Georgie. If I had a choice between the three, I just might go for George. The other guys are slightly dogs. George would be incredibly loyal. Look at what he's doing with Callie. He is obviously repulsed by her, not to mentioned scared out of his mind of her, and yet he continues to date her. But she is weird. Not good weird either. She LIVED in the hospital and how is that even close to normal? Eccentricity is not always a good thing.

Peppy: I would make any of those doctors very happy too I think I would go for McDreamy.
Now the no pain girl is missing? This is getting exciting. And yes Callie is scary her body is very top heavy and yes she is weird George could do much better. I can't believe McDreamy sabatoged Meridith's date with the vet.

Scribe: Ooh! Callie/George fight!!

Special K: Hosebag? Who calls anyone a hosebag? Why are TV kids always so damned sassy and full of moxy? Uh oh, brain surgery guy is having trouble. Say my name, bitch!

Scribe: What a thrilling end to a thrilling conversation. I think that years from now when we look back on and think about all the time we spent watching Grey's Anatomy, we'll be thankful that we recorded and broadcasted every inane thought we had. I know I already am. Peace out, Canada.

2006-10-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

Oh my God... we're going to be YouTube superstars!!

Shades of Grey

2006-09-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

So we thought we'd try this out: watch a show (Grey's Anatomy) and converse via laptop. There were some logistical problems, mostly the fact that no one really sits for an hour straight and watches a show. There's bathroom breaks, and phone calls, and making lunches and checking e-mail and whatnot (today it was cupcakes). But it was fun. Also, as Special K speculates further on, this might not be half as entertaining to read as it was to write. We tried.

Special K: Special K here, watching Grey's Anatomy for the first time. What can I say? Dr. McDreamy is kind of a dog. I guess it's something to do between batches of mini cupcakes. Which are really not working out for me, in case anyone cares.

Scribe: Special K wishes she were a strong black woman... like Dr. Bailey. OH EW. What is that??? There's a tree sticking out of some guy.

K: I was just informed that this is our witty repartee. Seriously though, that tree was totally sticking out of that guy's side.

S: This show's usually good for stuff like that. Last year they had two people with a pipe going through both of their stomachs. They were stuck face-to-face and were both conscious. One of them was the girl from Undeclared. It was a really emotional episode.

K: That sounds like a good way to meet people. Skewered by a pipe could be the new speed dating.

S: Haha. Alex just smashed the Tree Kid's dad.

K: I think this could be a good theme for our party tomorrow night...everyone is only allowed to communicate via computer.

S: You always have the best ideas. Our group would totally be into that too. Well, one guy...
I used to think George was the cat's pajamas. Now I can see him for the kinda wimp he is. And today he seems to be learning a life lesson from a terminal patient. George needs a lot of life lessons, one of which being: how to grow a spine.

K: Is George the guy who just made out with the woman I think is Meredith? Cuz I would totally do him.

S: No, that was McVet... or "Finn". There's a Finn on Gilmore Girls too... Why don't I know any Finns?

K: On another topic, my cupcakes keep falling. Do you know how frustrating that is? Especially since I only have one mini-cupcake tin, and I can only make 12 of the little fuckers at a time.

S: And the funny thing is, those cupcakes are going to be gone in like, thirty seconds. I bet we could probably get a certain person to stuff them all in his mouth at the same time... like if we bet him, or something.

K: I bet the tree guy goes through the rest of his life terrified of trees. Maybe he'll become a fire starter.

S: Was it really a tree? It looks kind of like a fence post. You know what this world needs? Is a museum or some sort of travelling collection of items that people get gored with. Or items that have somehow invaded the body.

K: I was just told that my cupcakes resemble little yorkshire puddings...and that they will probably collapse under the weight of the frosting.

S: Well... "fluffy" is not a word I would use to describe the little fuckers.

K: Everybody on this show is having a lot more sex than I am. Maybe I should go into medicine.

S: Half of my friends are going to be nurses and I've been assured that most of the people working in that profession are not as hot as the ones we see on TV. They're not even as funny as the ones we see on Scrubs.
Now we're watching Six Degrees. The premiere last week wasn't as great as I thought it would be. But it is a J.J. Abrams show so I think I'll give it a second chance. They're even in a hospital. That one guy shot someone, which is sad because he was just trying to get his life together. He is a limo driver.
Mm! Those are tasty little fuckers!

K: So it's after ten now and therefore past my bedtime. Scribe thinks we're funny, but I wonder if anyone not actually sitting on this couch would agree. We're going to have to kick it up a notch if we're going to sweep the nation. I was told I need to say something amusing/interesting to sign off, so here goes:
"You'd think with a last name like McCockhead, his parents wouldn't have called him Fuckface".
Peace out.

S: Good night, Special K. Good night, Canada.

2006-09-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

Office Chatter: Scribe's weekly Office Rant

My inaugural Office article is a few days late, I admit. But I only watched the season premiere yesterday, due to technical issues arising from my lack of TV/VCR aptitude. That's the official excuse. I'm just happy to have actually watched the episode, and thankful that the NBC legal department didn't get to my friend on YouTube before I did.

So it was with great anticipation, of which TAL and Special K might attest to, that I watched show number one of the new season. This is what I -- what everyone -- wanted to know: Jim and Pam: yes? no? maybe so? I am of two minds with this one, but more on that in a second.

Overall, I wasn't as pleased with the A plot. It was rather... squicky for my liking, and not for the actual subject material, but in the way our main characters reacted to the outing of a gay co-worker. Viewers have known Oscar's secret for a long time (since about the middle of last season) so it wasn't a big reveal for us. Michael's reaction, as it often is, was unprofessional and awkward and I really missed the more cognizant and sensitive Michael we saw every so often last season. (Which brings up the Jan Situation, of which was not referred to in any great detail, unfortunately.)

The kiss: was weird. And cringe-ey. And...ugh. I was making the same face as Oscar.

Michael did get his comeuppance though. Happily, Oscar called him out in front of everyone. And it's no small feat to tell off your boss when you've just been cornered into a come-out during a staff meeting, I imagine. Go, Oscar! Bonus points for having to wipe Michael's snot off your shoulder three seconds later.

Dwight's reaction: I have some concerns with. I'd hate to see his character become a caricature of what Dwight represents: the uber-intensive yet clueless dork. The gaydar scene on the phone with Jim was the exception, in that it was both awesome and necessary. First of all, it re-established the Jim-Dwight dynamic I was afraid we'd lose with his transfer. Second, it planted the seed for Jim's eventual return (I'm positive). And third, it set up the final scene with the actual "gaydar" machine, which again, was kind of cheesy, but worth it if only to make Pam giggle.

Which brings me to the main concern. What the hell happened, Pam and Jim? I'm assuming you didn't speak to each other all summer. But did Jim go to Australia? Does he know Pam's not married? What ever happened to fighting for your woman, Halpert? Step it up, man!

Here are my thoughts on the situation:

It'd be fantastic, of course, if they got together. Especially since a great majority of unrequited TV-loves kind of lose their lustre after awhile, to the point where when the two characters finally get together, the viewer is rather bored with the concept. I never ever want to be bored with Jim and Pam.

But, then again:

Half of the show's appeal is the angst, the furtive glances toward the camera, the flirting. Would Dwight and Angela's bizarre relationship hold the same interest? Maybe for awhile, but not forever.

I'm happy with the actual outcome, despite the many unanswered questions, which, admittedly can't be covered in a single episode of a half-hour sitcom. They kiss, they gaze, Jim asks: "Are you really going to marry him?" Pam nods. He squeezes her hand and leaves. Oh, Jim Halpert, come here, I'll make you feel better.

Hello Canada!

2006-09-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

We are ready to sweep the nation.

Let us introduce you to ourselves:

Scribe: I am not a bitch. And that's more than the other two can say. Other than that, this is what I plan to contribute to this blog:
-apathetic opinions, because I usually don't care about things one way or the other
-obscure pop culture facts, which I usually care deeply about (and in that way, I'm kind of a hypocrite)
-rambling lunchtime entries. Because that's when I write... SCRIBE!!

TAL: I'm the tall one, the loud one, and the funny one if I do say so myself. Bitch is not a word I'd use to describe myself...maybe sarcastic, bitter, and slightly insane...bitch is too harsh, try cunfache instead. My contributions will be brief and often nonsensical, and occur at all times of the day...my schedule is somewhat delerious.

Special K: I mean special as in "gifted", not special as in "short bus", by the way. There seem to be rumours flying around that I'm a bitch, but I can assure you that I have a soft, creamy centre. I really don't know what exactly I'll be bringing to this blog, but I'm sure it will be riveting, eye-opening, innovative, fresh and immaculately spelled. Which is more than I can say for the other two.